Read each of the following letters and offer whatever advice you think is worthwhile. Back up your advice with as much evidence and argument as you can.
1. Love and Age Difference. I’m in love with an older woman. She’s 51, and I’m 22 but very mature; in fact, I’m a lot more mature than she is. I want to get married but she doesn’t; she says she doesn’t love me, but I know she does. She wants to break up our romance and "become friends." How can I win her over?
22 and Determined
2. Love and the Best Friend. Chris and I have been living together for the last ten years. Chris is very busy with writing the great American novel. I work two jobs to make ends meet. I also wind up doing the dishes, the cooking, and the cleaning. When I ask Chris to contribute more to running the house, all I get back is complaints about how bad the novel is going and how much work lies ahead. I’m getting fed up. What should I do?
Overworked and Underpaid
3. Love and Sports. My relationship of the last 20 years has been great—except for one thing: I can’t watch sports on television. If I turn on the game, Pat moans and groans until I turn it off. Pat wants to talk; I want to watch the game. I work hard during the week, and on the weekend I want to watch sports, drink beer, and fall asleep on the couch. This problem has gotten so bad that I’m seriously considering separating. What should I do?
Sports Lover
4. Love and the Dilemma. I’m 29 and have been dating two really great people fairly steadily. Each knows about my relationship with the other, and for a while they went along with it and tolerated what they felt was an unpleasant situation. They now threaten to break up with me if I don’t make a decision. To be perfectly honest, I like both of them a great deal; I simply need more time before I can make the decision and ask one to be my life mate. How can I get them to stay with the status quo for maybe another year or so?
Simply Undecided
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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
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36 comments:
1.-this man is still young
-he must believe that if fate had written that the woman is created for him,then he didn't have to worry.life is fair,bro.
- just be patient and never give up to win her heart
-maybe she still need time to accept you and try to handle this condition because it will effect both of your future.
2.-try to slow talk with chris
-discuss about what is your problem
-express what you feel in the right way
-dont be too emotional because it would make the situation getting worst.
3.-you should think about how sweet the relationship when it can be as long as 20 years.
-many people cant stay for this long period
-try to understand each other
-moreover,ask her to accompany you to watch any games or tournament.from that,she can realized that you are sport lover.
-if she still not understand with your hobby,both of you need to attend counseling sessions.
4.-i think that you can plan your life maturely based on your age.
-first,try to understand your own need and interest
-then,try to understand the others
-you know that woman obviously doesn't like to share their boyfriend and husband.
-so,make a right decision.just calm and make a great conclusion about both of the relationships before you choose the best one.
salam sir isma...
this is my opinion
1.for that man you just show how much you love her and never give up to win her heart...if it your fate to live with her forever so that woman will never go anywhere and she is yours.
2.for this problem that person mybe can ask other person help.ask from person that he/she can trust.mybe the guy can listen other person advise than his/her advise.
3.for sport lover the solution for your problem is you an Pat sit together and talk.Both of you must find a perfect time to sit and talk.make a discussion to find a solution.mybe two of you make a time arrangement,like this time for sport lover watch sport and at this time for two of you sit together.
4.erm this is normal situation.the best way thay i can suggeat is listen to what your heart say, who is the best man for your life.once you make a decision you must explain to the man that you reject about your feeling and tell him that both of you can be a best friend.
that all from me...
NOR ZULAIKA BT.DOLAH...
thank you...
wassalam...
Adibah Hazimah bt Ahmad Hadzim said ;
1- if he did love her as much as he said,he must understand and respect her feelings.
- though in this case i think it is not the matter of age,cuz people said that love is blind right ?
- if we look at what the girl said,wich she said she wanted to become friends. maybe they are not meant for each other and that is why she said its better if they become friends .
- she wanted to become friends maybe its because she think that is the better way for them to contact each other and maybe she doesnt want to hurt his feelings more deeper .
2 -in this second case , i think the girl should face to face with Chris and tell him how she feels . she should tell the whole truth and make Chris understand her situation . its not that she doesnt want to do all the work , but she felt tired while i think Chris is just sitting at home doing his writting the American novel .
- in my opinion i think Chris has more free time rather than the girl . Chris should try to understand her situation and help her .
3- first of all , i strongly think that seperating is not the answer ! they should slow talk with each other and try to solve the problem together . they should figure out the problem and settle it nicely . they should not just think of seperation . seperation will not make things easier , infact it will also make it worst if they cant make up their mind and try to understand each other !
- both of you should try and understand each other and not just blaming each other.
4- oh my god ! you should not ever play with other people's heart . how can you love two person at a time ? this is totally insane ! try not to think negatively . even if both side knows about the relationship , i dont think that both of them like to share a person whom he/she like. if we love the person truthly , you should know how to be loyal . in this case , the only solution is you should break up with the both of them and try to become their friends, who knows someone you will find your Mr. Right ? i've been in your situation before , and i really understand your feeling . try and clear your mind. go for a holiday and think what is the best for you .
said:
-the different age make the girl feel guilty to married,and the man is still young,don't worry about the girl because deep in her heart she still loving you,and she will be yours if you never give up to win her heart. she hard to make decision because sometimes the acception from other part make she hard to accept you.
-get the right time to discuss about the problem, you have live for last ten years and probably they have a understanding with you too, slow talk with chris and don't too emotional because it will make thing getting worse,
-the relationships is 20 years..that its so romance because you have survive many thing together,you can explain her why you love sport and why it being your hobby and try to attract her enjoy the sport together share the fun. if you have the event or any match bring her along.make it fun and don't feel it as a problem every problem have a solution. you must give the long explanation and she will understand about it,because you to have a great combination.
-even you love both of them but you must think carefully about your their feeling and also your feeling, what is match with you, if you think about your future absolutely you can make aright decision don't hurt anybody feel,you know who you are and you too know what you one in your life and who will be your partner. nobody like to share their lover.
situation 1 : love and age difference
- actually for me, the young man just think he is a mature but he is does not.
- i think the reason why the old woman doesnt want to take a risk if getting married with that young man because, the man still didnt yet face with big problem will comes around him in future.
- and maybe the woman shy with public if getting married with person who are 29 years younger than her. the person already can call as her grandchildren.
BUT, advices for the young man :
- u should show your sincerly to the woman.
- spend a few time with her and having a bit conversation with her " deeper conversation"
- tell her the truthly why u really want married with her
situation 2 : love and the best friend
- u have already been living together for around ten years, u already should understand him.
- but i advice u to slow talk with him, which u talk to him why not he help u in manageing house cz both of u living in that house.
- other than that, advice him to not really too cncrntrate to the novel without doing any jobs.
- or u may ask him having dinner to discuss about ur problem. maybe from the dinner environment u can easily talk with him
situation 3 : love and sports
- relationship of the 20years is very great ! u must protect the relation from it stop in he middle of the road by :
- y not u ask her to give u a space to chill up ur ownself. tell her its as a reward u hav working hard for u and her
- or other way, u ask her to join u wacthing sports. just like a share hobby..
seperation is actually not make better, both u have a relation too longer and not at all couple can standing as ur relation.
situation 4 : love and dilemma
- 1st as what people alway say : its ok to have many friend but stand with the only one.
- no one in this world want share love with others. u actually already hurt them
- u must thinkin twice before u select who person will be ur life mate.
- or i think u dont choose from both of them, just be their BFF :)
hamizah selamat samsi ( 2009270814)
Noor sHAFIKA Binti Abdul Jalil-
1. I think, that guy should prove his love to the women.
this is because:
-if he really fallen in love with that wowen he need to do do anything to attract that women feel like she really need that guy.
-that women also need to be more open minded in this new lifestyle.
-the guy also need to be more carring to that women bacause at that age, mostly women more easy to touching
2.hang out together
this is because:
-to avoid chris touchiing when they are meet straight to the point.
-need a release tension before talk to chris
-chris also need other view from other friend to make he/she know what have he done?
3.you should be more cheer when sit together
this is because:
-the long term in relationship is too difficult to stay together.
-make some democracy
-not easy to seperate when the relationship is oo long.
4. in my opinion, you should do think this thing in relax situation.
this is bacause:
-you need to make a dicison to your long life, fallen in love is not too easy.
-you need to meet both of them and ask them about their feeling about you and that time you need to feel from your heart who is the best for you.
-you also need to pray to God, which is you may easy to know who is the best for you.
NOOR HAFIZAH BINTI ZAINALABIDIN (2009439268)
1. LOVE AND AGE DIFFERENCE
- that guy should try to persuade that woman and try to win her heart back.
- that guy need to show his sincere over that woman and he capabilities in their future relationship.
- based on one quote that is "love will come back if it meant to you".so that guy just need to pray and wait in calm.
2. LOVE AND THE BEST FRIEND
- the best way that you can do is try to communicate with Chris.
- you also can share you unsatissfied with him and try to find the solution.
- do a division of housework with you and Chris.
3. LOVE AND SPORTS
- he need to talk with Pat and speak out what his hobby to Pat that him had been close for 20 years.
- he should think about their sweetest memories and their enjoyment along the relationship over 20 years when he think of separating.
- he also need to talk and give explaination toward Pat why you love sport and in which it can help you to release your stress.
4. LOVE AND THE DILEMMA
- you need to listen in your heart and try to choose the best for you life.
- you need to explain to the both guy that you cannot do a quick decision about love.because it is albout a life and you need a time to think about that.
- you need to go the counselling session for your complicated problem.
Nadirah Bt Zulkifli
ISD2E6
1.Love is unconditional as you can see.If you love her then show her that you are worth being with.It doesn't matter how much difference of age between you guys as long as you love each other for better or for worst.She said she just want to be friends with you is because she is worried that you might regret by marrying her.The love is there but she is full of doubt.I think you need to convince her more that you are serious in this relationship and show her more commitment to prove that you care about this relationship and want it to last.
2.You should tell him the truth for your own good.Aren't you tired of being nice all the time?Yes I know you guys are best friends and been living together like forever but tell Chris that since you are living together,there are responsibility that must be done together.Cooperation is the best word for Chris.Tell him what you really feel.Don't feel sorry everytime he whines and feel bad about it.Get over it!You also have your own feeling and I bet it doesn't feel right lately.Honesty is the best policy.Just tell him and get it off your chest.
3.She needs your attention as you can see.Like you said before you have been buzy during the week and of course its been tiring.It is not wrong for a sport lover to watch sports but you need to manage your time well if you ever wanted to watch sports again.Spend quality time with her even if its for an hour or two.Don't get to rush on getting separation.
4.You need a time break for God sake!What a relationship you had there.Honestly you can't ever have two women to understand this kind of situation.Choose the one you really love and happy with most of the time.If you tend to pick two also,then you need to confront with them.See what is going to happen.All is up to you.Gudluck!
Assalamualaikum..
1) hurm... love is blind..and that why that man can fall in love with the woman that her age is 51 years old. That man should understand and respect what is the woman said to him. Maybe the woman make decision to break their romance and become "friend" because she is too shy with her children and her family. That man should find another woman and his age is too young. In the best way, you should try to find another girl that is really suitable and understanding about you.
2) In this case, it is better if the girl try to slow talk with Chris and tell to him that her feeling. Moreover, that girl nedd to find a friendthat can heard her feeling.
3) I think both of you should to face-to-face.
Do not to be emotional when you discuss about this problem.
when you discuss this about this, tell him think about your future relationship too.
4) In the last case, you should not do like that to them, you should think about their feeling too. You should be honest and be a faith love to your lover. You must think too, there is no person want to share their love with other, so you cannot make them to stay "quo" as what you want. you cannot hurt other person heart like this. You should choose 1 of them to be your lover, and i think you should choose wisely because this is for your future relationship.
That all..
Thank You..
From: WAN NOR AZIAN BINTI WAN ABDULLAH.
ISD2E5.
1- I think for this statement, love is universal. Everyone can love each other without think their age. If he loves her, he must be more patient to tackle the gurl's heart and never give up.
-Give her more time to think because this decision is about her life.
2- Try to understand chris job. Maybe he want to spent time with you but he have a lot of work to do
- Slow talk with him and talk with a slow voice.
-Always think positif and give some explanation to chris about your feeling.
3- Explain to pat that you want to rest for a while.
-Dont make any argument with your relationship because it will make your relationship become worst.
-Try to understand each other without make a smaller things become bigger.
- For this situation, it always happen to every person. First of all, think before doing something. You should explain your feeling with who you assume as your love, and as your friends. For the solution, slow talk with both of them about your relationship, think clearly for who will be your partner and who is the best for you. Choose the best one that always care for you. Do not make any fight with one of them that you can still remain be a goof friend.
amirul syazwan said
1. there are too much difference between the age of the guy and the woman in this relationship. The guy is too young to a have a relationship with this older woman. there would be too many arguments in the relationship. the age also would affect the intimate of the relationship. The woman also might thinking of breaking up the romance due to the view of others about the relationship.
2. As a housemate. chris's attitude is definitely wrong. i think he should contribute in doing chores at home or maybe paying bills or needs of home. he can't use his carrier as an excuses in not helping his housemate. you also has a works and chores to do. in fact, you work to jobs to earn more. but still you manage to do the chores and all. maybe he need to do a time management so that he can seperate between his carrier and home.
3. you need to act like a mature person regaring this matter. its been a long relationship for 20 years. would you break it just because you can't watch your football match. you need to tolerence with her. you guys shoul understand each other.
4. you can't let this matter unsolve any longer. this is because they have their own feelings to be consider as well. let put yourself in their shoes, how would you feels if someone treat you like that. you must be pitsed off rite. so do them. if i'm in their shoes, i'm not having a relationship with you anymore. this is because you don't have an attitude in relationship.
assalamualaikum sir Isma...
1. Love and Age Difference
- My advice is..the guy should find another woman that more younger or not to old for him.The generation could not spread out if they getting married..But if he still want to married he must to prove his love and purpose her as soon as possible.
2. Love and the Best Friend
- Both of you have stay together for along time, so why not you,for that moment just be patient and find the suitable time slow talk about your relationship and tell what you expected from him. If he still not make any changes i advice you leave him for a while give him some space and maybe for a moment he will realize that you are really valuable for him.
3. Love and Sport
- why dont you sit and join him watching the sport together. While watching you still can have a conversation with him. Try to share the hobby with your partner. In a relationship we must give and take. Besides, after he exausted with his work only with this he can realease tension.
4. Love and Dilemma
- in relationship you should be loyal and stick to one. But if you in victim of this situation,you must choose one of them or maybe leave them to be fair. Remember!!take your time before choosing the suitable for you. You have to choose who is the best for you to make as your partner. No one like to share. So please dont make something that can hurt others feeling.
- ANIS IZZURAIN BT AHMAD KAMAL 2009659242 -
Mohamad Hafizi bin Abd Aziz said;
1. he must understand and try to receive that old women decision. because as a human, he can't control other feeling easily. try to closed and asking her directly from heart, maybe she still love him but the different ages between her and him makes she thinks about it over and over again... come on dude... not as a wife, she can closed with him as a friend too.. =P
2. for this situation, i think she must talk directly with chris. use the best word and make it simple. maybe chris understand her feeling. if not in this way, i think she must ask other people help that both of them are knowing each other. makes chris know his fault. all people are workers too, but still can manage it.
3. mmmm.. is hard to me to give some conclusion because i'm sport lovers too.. hahah3... but on this case, i think the discussion is a best way to solve a problem.. 20 years dude.. so long period for relationship. ask her permission or invite her too.. sharing is caring.. don't you?? other opinion is, maybe he can sacrifice his sport for a while and focus in relationship too. bring the sweet time again..sports are not where dude, but girls??? appreciate her sacrifice....
4. Oh my vaio, so cruel.. dont hurt others people feeling..it is not the best way. when relationship can be end??? until when??? you are not played others people heart, but you also played your heart too. so, try to motivate yourself and make decison. choose 1 between them, choose that really you think and got enough for you. then ask yourself WHY??? and you can get the answer!!!! end this situation quickly before it worst..
Assalammualaikum..
1. the young man must forgot the old lady and start the new life. there's a lot of women in this world. so, dont give up..
2. try to discuss with each other. maybe chris is doing his best on the novel for make your life better.
3. watch la sport together on the weekend. spend your time with pat in the front of tv watching the sport..
then, both of you can slowtalk about yours problem.
make it simple..
4. ek eleh..
i think you must choose who is right to be your life mate..
find who is most suitable for you..
gud luck..
rilek suda..
Nur Shafiqah Binti Mohd Shah (isd2e6)
1.-That man must be patient if he really love that woman.
-woman's heart is soft.maybe,one time she will accept you in your life.
-give her time to think about this problem.
2.-Try to talk personally with Chris.
-tell your problems to Chris and make him understand your situation.
-give the housework equally.
-talk to other that you know and trust to take a good advises.
3.-Try to discus with Pat about your problems.
-make she understand that you really loves sport.
-you can watch sports at the same time,you can talk to her.
4.-you must talk and discuss with them properly.
-don't take time too long to make a decision.The problems will become worst.
-you must believe your heart first.
-each of them will become your friend if they did not become your partner.
NORANIS BINTI ABU BAKAR (ISD2E5)
(2009497942)
1. It not about you is more mature or something but it’s about that women pride. She might be fell embarrass with the public because you look younger than her and she also feel that you just what to play around with her and not serious in the relationship. So as the solution to win her heart back you must taking care about her more often than before because women in middle age more sensitive beside teenager that same age as you. You must always show your intend to married her and serious to married her so you must at least bought a ring to show your love and seriously to married her. The ring is as a symbol of propose.
2.It not a big deal if Chris has his own ambition to become novelist but he must make sure that you are the one behind him and support his work. He also seem busy with the novel until forget to help you doing all housekeeping. Its true work important but how about the 10 years relationship? Hope you and Chris make a conversation and told him about your feeling and try to repair it before it become worst. Chris as a man must appreciate your women for doing house work and spend some time with her if has free time. You also can have happy family and can be good novelist at the same time.
3. Oh, it’s great that you are sport lover but at the same time you must balance it with family, as a suggestion you must talk to Pat and share your interest, how about you drag her to watch the sports with you and this kind of thing can bring back the 20 years relationship. If she refuse, you also can bring her out from house to do some exercise such as jogging at the park during weekend beside drink beer and feel asleep on couch that only benefit your self. Hope you will not separating with Pat and try to change your attitude.
4.Wow its really big problem here because you fall in love with two girl .As an advice what can I say whether its hard or not you must choose one of them or you can forget both of them to avoid from these women fell very sad and hoping something great from you. You also can talk to them to wait until you ready it is because while you make a decision the decision will affect your future life. Hope you choose the right one that suitable for you if the women can’t wait for you its okay because it shown that she give up with you so choose wisely .
FIN.....
1.i think first situation actually difficult situation in the relationship between two of them.for me this guy actually too young to live together with this woman...bcoz the age difference too much..actually this woman like his mother...i also afraid when this relationship is continue it will be effect for their future life...like this guy will boring n looking for other woman that are more young n they also can't get a son ...but if they are fate together...they can live and go on their relationship and married...bcoz LOVE doesnt know anything...just wait....for the result from god fate...
2. i think she need talk slowly to chris n express what actually she feel with her rutine life that are tired....since u all live together in that house...u should try to advice him to more cooperate n help each in that houseo...last u just only declare what u feel to him...
3.to u all...i think u should just try to talk n discuss what the problem...maybe one of them should consider each other interest...for more perfect love,..hopely that the different interest can't make our relationship is BROKEN...
4.ermm...this situation is like triagle love..for me...i think that u should make a choice between two of them...pick one that are really good n suitable with u...listen tO your heart...IF U continue this situation it can make their feeling more hurt n the problem can't be settled...lastly think n make a GOOD CHOICE....
intan nadatul nadwa
1. in this situation the women is actually falling in love with that men too..but unfortunately their age differences were too far and the women though that is impossible for her to falling in love the young men like him..but..in the same time..the men though that he are mature enough for her and thought that he can make it for their relationship...but the problem is..the women don't want to marry him and i think this is because of her age...so..for me the solution for the men is..he should try to prove to the women that has already good enough for her and he should prove that he has comitment enough to be in a family.
2.you should spell it out,,,you should or you lose..you should have a slow talk with him and ask him for a better comitment in your relation ship and ask him 2 give a good cooperation in your both relation..this is very important and im sure that you have so fed up with all this thing..and..you must settle it up..
3.you try to understand her..she may do all this to take your attention because u have been working all day long everyday and she just have the weekend to spend it with you...plus,,u cnt live separately with her bcoz u have been living with for 20 years,,it is impossible u can live without her anymore..so..think possitive..she's doing all this to make up your both relation..
4.u should better think more wisely after this,,u cant simply choose your partner because once you choose,,u have to be with her/him forever...plus,,
u should change your attitude,,
1-in this case, the old woman were see the different aspects and future trough out of each other. with the concerning of this matter a old woman were wants to break ups and be a friend. It's true the man was mature but it's more were is been taking a lot of the aspects such as of the gender in how the different of feeling expression that be expose by woman. life is fair when someone think is fair. By the way a man should not give up until got the final answer from truly deeply from a heart of a old woman - other than that a man should not just think about himself and just consider about the other feeling and situation. but if we can see the woman was written...are we can see the future of course not..right..so if we do something we must doing well. I disagree of some student opinion..
2. try choose a comfortable time, place and slow talk. Try not concern of little thing happened and not put the emotional because a Chris is under pressure. Be reasonable of trough out the true problem.
3. It's not the matter how long the relationship is going run. But the true reason is how we can manage or handle the problem of each other and understands of each other feeling. Try to slow talk and confess the true problem properly without having of emotional stressful. Some way to solve the problem is just bought the new television and buy ticket watching a sports live or go to the restaurant that giving the sports live broadcast. In this matter the woman can realize your problem and it's can be solve or if it's become worse just try discuss and go to the consultant adviser in relationship.
4. Just question your heart and what your actually needs. Try to choose a person that can give you comfortable feeling and complete with each other, happy and the most important part is sincere.Try to analyze both of them knew their true heart in deeply..without concerning of how long the some of relationship be run it's can be bias. If we bias we cannot know someone in matter of relationship.
Aminur Aishah
(ISD2E6)
1) I think he should try to win her feeling through care about this women feeling and also he should slow talk with this women and try to attract her feeling.
2) I think this girl should go to face to face with him and try to tell what her feeling when chriss is always busy with his life. She also can ask chriss to hang up together such as going dinner to repair their relationship .
3) Hmm how if you watch sports with your partner together? That will be interesting right? Hmm watching a sports together and slowly talk about your problem, with that way you can still watching your favorite sports and spend time with your partner.
4) well, actually this situation is normal and I think based on your age, you should think maturely which one can be your suitable partner but at the same time you must to try to not hurt other feeling and lastly the best choice is you should pray to god for you to make a right decision.
ASSSALAMMUALAIKUM....
mohammad sufian bin abdul razak
isd2e5
1)in my opinion:
-this man is still young and still finding about who he is...
-he must thinking properly.
-do not make any worse decisions.
must get a support from each person that near to him.
2)in my opinion:
- try to slow talk with him..
- do not get angry easily.
- discuss
- must help each other.
- do not be emotional.
3)In my opinion:
- discuss together.
- support each other.
- join him if can.
4) in my opinion:
- think properly.
- dont make fool decision.
- choose the best.
NORSYAMIL BIN SAHRON (ISD2E6)
1. I think the man cannot give up and be patient,maybe that woman just want to test the man, because their age different... the man should trust faith because maybe someday he can meet a good or better woman...
2. I think this gurl try to understand maybe chris is to busy with work, at the same time get the right time to discuss about problem, slow talk and find the solution to repair your relationship that had been 10 years....
3. Separating is not good action to take... try to make her understand about your hobby... find the solution,,, maybe you should ask her to join you watch sport.
4. You just like malay song (dsane mnnti dsni mnnggu)..hhh... i think you should trust your feeling... this is your future life, and dont take too much time because it can become more worst... choose wisely, try to analyze them... make a good decision which are more suitable and comfortable for you....
1) love is a common things. love can happen without think about age, status, and many more. you are too young than her. she must be unconfident with you. she might think you just too follow your feeling without think the effect in the future. she maybe think she's not suitable with you. she far too older than you. she might feels she does not better and beautiful enough for young man like you. this feeling always happen to a woman who are fall in love with a man that younger than her. so, if you sure that she is your soul mate, you must make her confident with herself first. you need to show to her about how much you love her and need her. fbesides that, you must make her realize that age different does not matter in your relationship with her. surely soon, she can accept it.
2) in this cases, you must take a suitable time to discuss with him face to face. you must try to realize him how tough your life without him. you no need to be too soft and patient with him. this will make him does'nt realize his behavior. he is too selfish and really obssessed with his writing world without care about your feeling and needs. so, you must put an effort to change him. if this does'nt effective, i strongly suggest that, you separate with him in a long time. maybe, with separate with him, can make he realize what has he done to you and his annoying behavior. maybe without you in his life can make him value hisself.
3) you must tolerate with pat. maybe she dos'nt understand yet about your interest and hobby. your relationship have been 20 years and definitely more memory that you and her faces together. so, you must be patient to care your relationship. you must try to give her time to understand you a little bit more. you need to show her on how much you love sports. you need to tell to her your interest and make her understand clearly. surely, soon she can realize that she can't stop you to watch any match sports anymore because this thing is your interest. ok..
4) in your age, you must be serious in your relationship. you must be responsible and think for your future. so, you need to choose who're the better one to be your life mate. do you know that, the woman's nature is does not like to share their boyfriend or husband? you must to accept it. try train yourself to be responsible to woman you love. try to honest and loyal before you gett married. because marry is a serious thing that can effect our future.
1. the old lady did not accept him, so just move on with his life. " bunga bukan sekuntum, kumbang bukan seekor ". so, find the new mate.
2.chris must have work hard for your life.
so, understand him.
3. tell her that, watch sport can make him feel better. so, after watch sport, we can talk until sunrise.
4.tell both of them, that you need time to make decision..
hello everyone,
for the first case, the woman is too old and the guy is too young which makes them feel uncomfortable when being together so the woman decide just to be friends with the guy. the guy has to persuade the woman to accept the fate, they love each other actually. does not matter how old they are.
for the second case, good communication is the best solution. talk slowly and nicely to chris. as a man, does not mean he just concentrate on his novel which is his job but also he has to help manage the house.
for the third case, you have been with pat for 20 years! congratulations for that. if pat prohobits you from watching the sport, try to talk to her. or you can watch it together with pat. while watching that, you can chat with her if she want so.
for the last case which is the delimma guy, i know its really hard to make a decision. choosing a woman as a life mate is not easy. you have to find the perfect one. if one of them say, "I cannot stand with u anymore! our relationship ends here." You dont worry. Just let her go. You still have the another one. She is the best for you, though. Goodluck!
Thanks for reading.
Anisah Idris
When it comes to love, age doesn't really matter but from my point of view, if you want to get serious and start a marriage you should leave this lady. This lady has made her choice even after you have told her how you feel and your plans. Maybe the age factor has made her a little insecure about the decision you are making hence she is afraid to take the next step to marry you. Ask her one more time about getting married, and if her final decision is still no then there is no point in waiting. Accept that your relationship will not work even if you love each other.
Actually the best way is to slow talk with him and not start your conversations with shouting at each other and mentioning how hurt you are about the mishaps happening under your roof. Work out a schedule with him to clean and arrange the house, with him being at home all the time, he surely must not be writing on his novel every second. The slow talk that you should have is telling him how hurt and tired you are from what's been happening lately. You should also be more supportive of him and his novel and also understand what he is going through. He probably feels guilty for not contributing to the finances of your home and does not have a channel to vent out his frustration. Try to compromise and understand each other better.
Dear Sports Lover, I don't understand why after 20 years of a relationship with Pat, you're only complaining now. You guys should be able to know each other inside out after knowing each other for 20 years. Guys have the tendency to shout out loud about their love for sports and Pat surely must know that fact about you. But if you still can't do anything about her complaining, why don't you get out of the house? Go out with your buddies at the pub and watch a game. if you want to stay at home, suggest to Pat to go socialize with her girlfriends or do charity. Tell her how much you love sports and ask her to be understanding about it,there should be no problem if you ask for a little understanding and respect. Maybe she's angry at you for not letting her do what she wants? Respect each others likes and work it around your daily schedule to fit in what you like to do. Hey I like sports too and my husband joins me! So give it a try!
Well what do we have here? You're in a pretty deep situation here. Maybe you should make a pros and cons list huh? To balance out which you like best? Okay here's the thing, a love triangle never works. You should have made your choice before you fell hard in love for both of them and turned 29! Now you wanna get married and you can't make up your mind. I suggest that you take some time away from two of these ladies and have some time for yourself. Go to an island and think things through properly and deeply. Just think, you do you want to see most when you come back? Or who did you miss most when you were away? It's what the heart wants. Sometimes you can't do anything but take the time and ask you heart. Feel free to question whatever it wants because what it wants is the most important thing. Also, ask friends who they think is better for you, you can be open to other people's opinion and they're entitled to tell you who they want to see as your wife because they're your friends, they want you to be happy! When you have made your decision, you tell the other nicely and in a very good way that you're sorry and you didn't mean to make her wait and hurt her but you've made your choice. Remain friends and don't forget to invite her to your wedding!
Insyirah ab Karim (kotak-kotak haty) said...
For the first situation, the guy really should to think of his future before make any decision. The different ages between both of them really can effect their relationship soon. I think you should try to love someone with the same age level with you. Not too old, and not too young. I bet you will never regret it.
Second situation. Both of you really need to talk about this problem before it become worst. I think Chris need to realize that he has a housemate and he need to be more responsible with not let all the chores or needs at the house done by his housemate alone. He also can't bring his work's problem or talk about it with his housemate.
For third situation, you cannot simply let your hobby ruined your relationship with Pat. You need to balancing your hobby with your relationship. Can't you imagine that you will lose Pat just because your addicted to sports? That's why you need to spent sometime with Pat and hear her problems. That will make your relationship more stronger.
Fourth situation, you need to plan your future properly if you really want to get married with this two women. You have to be fair to both of them and you cannot be bias. But, you also need your family or friends opinions about your plan and situation. Then, you have to be open-minded if they tell the truth for your own benefits. Congratulations if you really get married with this two women ;p..
Nur Nazurah Nordin
-maybe he should need to to make the girl more confident with him in all the way.In economic and emotional, work and house. but if the girl doesn't want he can force the girl she have her own problem.they need to discuss it properly
-maybe Chris and u need to discuss back all the mess.everyone have their own job.both of u need to give and take and help each other in doing works.every one busy with their own responsibilities.
-perhaps both of u need to find the same activity that can both of u doing it together. find a day that u can share u'r day together and share sweet moment together. u also need to tolerate with him.
-u need to evaluate them fairly.u also need time to see their own self.it more greats if u can have both of them, but u have to brave enough to take risk if u'r relationship have a problem and u have to manage time and everything fairly.
1. in this relationship, the man must make the old woman believe that he really loves her. that will make the old woman be more comfortable with him. But, if the old woman still not want to be with him, he must know that he cannot be with the old woman. Sometimes, we must understand the people's feeling. If they decided to be together, maybe certain people will humiliate them.
2. I think they must be understanding by each other although they had living together for the last 10 years. Maybe she can slow talk with Chris, so that he can understand her. Chris must be an understanding person, because he has more free time rather than her. At least, if they work together in the house and understanding each other, they will be a happy family.
3. In this situation, he must be a little aggressive and tell Pat that he want to spent his time alone and relax in watching sports. He also can slow talk to Pat what he want to do during weekend.On the other hand, Pat must understand what situation her husband it is. She must know that her husband want to release tension in the weekend.
4. This situation always happen, especially to someone that called playboy. In this case, he must choose one from both because women do not like to share their boyfriend with other women. But, if he cannot make the decision, than he must leave the both because maybe they can be friend.
thats all. =)
ISD2E5.
Salam ~ :)
1.Do you think why she liked that?actually, she do iit because of you.You should talk to her and give a spirit, that love does't not count age.However, if you really love her, you should waiting and keep patient to her,maybe she will respond because of your sincerity.
2.If you love him and want to stay beside him, is patient.If you stay patient towards him,one day he will realise his own fault. However, you have to take a time and have a discussion with him to solving the problem.
3.You and Pat should tolerate.In relationship if no patient and understanding, it's hard if the relationship to stay longer.You should stop drinking if you love her but still can watching the sport with her.Why don't you take her to watch sport at stadium or at home as to express the romantice of yours, and tell her your hobby and also her. Accept our couple interest and try doing with Pat so she can accept it and understanding.
4.Follow your heart and listen it.Who you feel comfortable and not awkward to tell your feeling? and who you want to stay beside you? try to thinking although it take a long time but don't make them boring towars you and give up.
~ Nur Hawadah binti Mohd Yusof~
~ISD 2E5~
P/S : Sir Isma, sorry for the late... :)
Salam..
1. Tell she that you are really love her and want to get married with her. Tell she that the difference of ages it not a barrier to them get a married. He also need to give she time to think and accept you and also try to handle her condition. He need patient and never give up to win her heart.He respect her feeling if he really love her.
2. try to dicuss and a slow talk with Chris. Express your feeling in the right way. Tell Chris the truth and make Chris understand her situation. Don't be emotional because it will make become worst.
3.Remember that your sweet memory with her in a long period of relationship. Tell her that is your hobby and ask her to join you watch sport. Try to understand and accept each other hobbies. In my opinion, separating is not a good way in this relationship because having a last 20 years with together is not a short term but a long term og period. So that, he need to protect their relationship. If it worse, he need get a causeling to get better of decision to their relationship.
4. Try to understand and choose the right person that you really interested and listen what your heart say. You also get a opinon from your family nad frriend about this problem. If you don't want to be biased you need to leave them and become as a friends. It is a fair and right decision from hurting them heart. If you choose one of them, they need to tell him or her that you reject that the reason why and both of you can be best friends.
FROM:
AIN AMALINA BT HUSSIN (2009862142)
~ISD2E5~
SALAM SIR ISMA...
FIRSTLY,
1.FOR THE FIRST SITUATION,YOU MUST TELL HER THAT YOU ARE REALLY LOVE HER AND AGE IS DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU BECAUSE YOU REALLY LOVE HER.
YOU MUST CONVINCE HER THAT YOU ARE SERIOUSLY WANT TO GET MARRIED WITH HER.
YOU MUST TALK TO HER NICELY AND DISCUSS WITH CLEARLY
AND AFTER THAT SHE MAYBE WILL ACCEPT YOU.
2.FOR THE SECOND SITUATION,YOU SHOULD DISCUSS WITH EACH OTHER AND FACE TO FACE TO SOLVE THE PROBLEMS.YOU NEED TO SLOW TALK TO HIM AND ARRANGE THE SHEDULE MAYBE BECAUSE IT CAN AVOID THE PROBLEMS AND MISUNDERSTANDING.
WHEN YOU TELL HIM THAT YOU ARE TIRED WITH THIS AND AT THE SAME TIME MAYBE YOU SHOULD SHOW SOME SUPPORTIVE ATTITUDES TO HIM AND HIS NOVEL,BECOME MORE UNDERSTANDING WITH EACH OTHER IN THE FUTURE.
3.FOR THE THIRD SITUATION,WE ALL NEED ENTERTAINMENT INCLUDING SPORT BECAUSE MAYBE THAT IS THE WAY TO RELEASE OUR TENSION RIGHT..
BUT ANYWAY,YOU SHOULD ALREADY KNOW HER BECAUSE IT'S HAVE BEEN A 20 YEARS RELATIONSHIP AND THAT ARE VERY LONG.IS IT JUST BECAUSE YOU CANNOT WATCH SPORT GAME ANYMORE THEN YOU WANT TO BREAK UP WITH HER???...IT DOESN'T MAKE A SENSE BECAUSE YOU SHOULD UNDERSTAND AND TOLERANCE WITH HER SOMETIMES BECAUSE SEPERATING CANNOT SOLVE ANY PROBLEMS.
4.FOR THE LAST SITUATION,THIS KIND OF SITUATION IS NORMAL AND ALWAYS HAPPEN AROUND US.YOU MUST MAKE A HARD DECISIONS BETWEEN TWO WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE RIGHT???...IF YOU WANT TO CHOOSE ONE OF THEM,MAYBE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO YOUR HEART AND TAKE TIME TO THINK DEEPLY BECAUSE IT WILL CHANGE YOUR ENTIRE LIFE.SO,IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE REGRET AS WELL,CHOOSE A RIGHT PERSON.YOU CAN TAKE OTHER'S OPINION MAYBE FROM YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS.ANYWAY ONCE YOU MAKE A DECISIONS TO CHOOSE ONE OF THEM OR BOTH OF THEM,YOU MUST TAKE CARE,HONEST,FAIR AND THE IMPORTANT THING IS NOT BE BIAS TO THEM.SO,THINK CAREFULLY AND WISELY...GOOD LUCK BUDDY...
NORHANISSA FAZREENA BT MOHAMED NORDIN
2009851482
ISD2E6
1. In my opinion, maybe she think her do not suitable with his partner. This is because the age are different and she do not like other's person critism about her age when she have been married with his partner.
2. In that case she must try to slow talk with Chris like have a sit together to share your problem with Chris.
3. I think separating is not good. This is because your relationship is too long. So,because of sport you want to break up. Wake up, be matured. Sometimes you must share and concern with his hobby, maybe you can watch sport together. So your relationship become more closer.
4. In that case, I consider that women cannot share their boyfriend or husband with someone. So, as a men you should make a right decision. The girl that you rejecting you must talk to her and expalin it but use a courtesy word to care her feeling.
Assalammualaikum..
1.For the 1st situation, I think you should try to understand her first..there is so much differences between your age. I think she just like your mum??? haha.. yes, I know everyone maybe said that love is blind, but still you are going to have problem if u guys continue ur relationship..you are still young, so try to find someone else and just be friend with her..gud luck..
2.I think you should try to talk to ur housemate..it's not fair that only you doing the chores..yes, maybe he are too busy with his writing,but it is his responsible to help you in doing the chores in ur house..talk to him fast and if he still refuse to do the chores then do not tolerant with him anymore..so lazy ar..
3.Are you nuts??you want to break up just because of sports??come on,your relationship is much more valuable than that..why not you two just sit and watch t.v together??I think Pat just want to spent her time with you..you just said before that u are bz,weekend is the only time for both of you to spent time together..
4.you are really crazy..if I in his/her shoes,I can't stand with that situation..who want to share their love partner with others??maybe you just can break up with both of them..try to find someone else and this time do not repeat the same mistake again..gud luck..
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